Building and keeping internet rapport is something that the younger generation does automatically.  They do this because this is a way of life for them and it is in their daily habits of internet communication and texting .  You learn to have rapport or people don’t communicate with you!  The internet is just like real life, if you are out of rapport, you become repulsive and people want to leave.

In the internet world how do you build rapport?  You don’t have anytime to use your body language, check them out, make any assessments ahead of time or play into their accent.  Isnt it interesting that in a place like America, you can stay within the same country, speak the same language (well in most cases) but there are different accents, look at Boston, New York and Atlanta … all on the east coast and yet they have their own way of speaking, terminology, rate of speech and accent.  Then you go to the opposite extremes, like in the country lets say like Arkansas or Oklahoma and lastly California and it is completely different!  If you were to take one person from each area mentioned above and put them in a room, would it might be a bit uncomfortable?  Of course, some speak fast, other slow, some louder, all with different accents.

So how do you build Rapport on the internet?

Actually it really is the same as in person, but your communication is primarily in text.  So you will need to be more consciously aware of what is being said, how it is being communicated, and remember there is no tone in text unless it is being known LIKE YELLING!  So your first tip is: By using all caps you are yelling, so dont yell, unless it is absolutely necessary … and 99.9% it is not necessary!  No one likes it … easiest way to get out of rapport … Yell at them!!!

In rapport building with another person, we Mimic, Mirror and Match, either consciously or unconsciously.  It is a natural survival instinct and you will use it when you really want something even if you haven’t trained extensively or at all on this topic.  So in a nut shell to build rapport in person you would: Mimic: any accent  Mirror: duplicate body language  Match: rate and tone of speech.

Second thing is to clarify anything that is not clear so if you don’t understand or if you create your own little drama and insert your own emotion into the text, make sure this is what the other person has meant to communicate, best option, don’t read into any emotion in text … unless it is spelled out to you and the advanced users will tell you when to have emotion in their writing and you should learn to do so also!

Third, Mimic, it is hard to detect an accent, but some people do type as they speak, they will actually type as they sound or speak it to or from them.  I have had asian clients use “tree” insead of “three” for example, so every once in a while I will use “tree” instead of “three”, not everytime, but from time to time, it could be a simple mistake from their perception or they will feel compelled to you as you are on thier level.

Fourth, Mirror, we can not duplicate the body language in text, but wait, yes we can … there is “Body” in text … what is this persons writing style? all lower case, upper and lower case, punctuation (some dont use any), smilies :)  ;), do they just write on or do they actually make paragraghs, are they very vivid or short and to the point, these are just a few of the writing techniques you will need to pay attention to!

Fifth, Match, since we don’t have a voice to listen to, how do we match?  length of time in their response is one another big one is following their lead to the course of other contact.  It is a very fine line to who intiates the first contact outside the initial source, for example on an email, you meet someone from the internet or get a business lead.  On the business lead the prospect has contacted you via the internet, they chose this form of communication because it feels “Safe” to them.  You will need to keep them safe “If” you want to continue to communicate with them.

How do you keep them feeling safe?  If you are the vendor or salesperson or the one being contacted it is usually best to allow the person that contacted you to establish the first commincation outside of their comfort zone.  If you offer it before they are ready they immediately are uncomfortable and they disappear, keep them comfortable and engaged, they will stay if they are real and within a few back and forths or as soon as they are ready, they will suggest that one or the other contacts via a new method, phone, person, etc.

Why do you need to keep the person feeling safe? What is that purpose? Trust! This is a stranger and were we all taught not to talk to strangers!   It  can be scary for some people … respect this and them … you will get much better internet conversion rates.

so a recap, the key is to be aware of your surroundings and the people you are with for face to face rapport, same is true on the internet, what are your surroundings, where are you at? what site? what are you doing? what purpose? at what level are you communicating? what is your position in the conversation? what is the purpose of the conversation? How does this other person see you?

hopefully you have learned at least one thing from this short internet rapport building article it should allow you to get farther in your online relationships enough to build the conversation and comfort level so that you can achieve your desired outcome

Also if you were paying attention I shifted my writing style in the last two paragraphs, did you notice? Hopefully you did!  The last paragraph was all lower case with no punctuation and the previous paragraph, all lower case with punctuation … just the simple things you need to watch out for!

Good Luck, Happy Typing and May Success be with you in Internet Rapport Building!

Life And Career Management by Life Coach Kevin Jones
It’s All About YOU, written by Kevin Jones

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This is my life just a few short years from now!

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Setting and Achieving SMART Goals

SMART Goals:
A useful way of making goals more powerful is to use the SMART Goal Formula. While there are plenty of variants, SMART usually stands for:

S   Specific
M Measurable
A  Attainable
R  Relevant
T  Time-bound

Lets say that it is your goal to buy a piece of Real Estate.  That is a goal.

A SMART goal would be:

I will buy a Four Unit Building in Burbank Ca. by the end of this year, it will be a rental property and part of my retirement portfolio.
Not only is it Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-Bound, but it also has Purpose, it has “The Why” to invoke the emotion need to achieve this goal.  You will need to apply a specific date to solidify this goal, I used the end of the year for ease of example.

Goal setting is great, we just need to add to the basic I want this.  When you can give it some meaning, give it a purpose, place a date on it and tie it all in with some emotion you have the opportunity to create the burning desire needed to make this dream into an achievable goal and very soon your reality! 

Work on setting at least one NEW SMART goal each and every week.  At the end of the year you should have accomplished 50 new things, lets think how nice life would be today if one year ago you would have started this!  I can tell you that you would be in a totally different place today if you would have started this a year ago!  So get started right now!

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Money and How should I spend it?

As the economy is drastically changing, many people are having to budget their money differently.  Unfortunately some are losing their jobs or have been cut back drastically on overtime, salespeople are having to work longer hours to close less deals.  We all hear about this everyday.  So what can we do differently?  How can we make the mighty dollar last longer or spend it more wisely?

A real simple formula that dates way back still is true today.  Don’t live on any more then 70% of your income.  The remaining 30% should be 10% for tithing, 10% savings and the last 10% towards free enterprise. 

If we all have more savings, we could look at things in life with a lot better perspective.  We live in the greatest country in the world, but most people don’t have more than 30 days of living expense in their savings.  You work for 20 years and are off work for 30 days and you are ready to file bankruptcy? Why?

Even at a poverty rate of earning potential ($26,000 per year) if you worked for 20 years and made the same amount, $26,000 per year you would have earned $520,000 to date.  At a rate of 10% in the savings you would have $52,000 in your account without any interest.  At that rate you would have two full years of living expenses in your account. This is a much better place to be in.

Open a savings account, somewhere that it is a little more difficult for you to get to (so you have less tendency of getting into it), each and every paycheck write yourself a check for 10% (or set up direct deposit) and send it to the account and forget about it!  It will grow very quickly and will be a nice nest egg for a rainy day!

Out of the 70% of living expense, a basic budget would look something like this:

Housing -  30%
Transportation - 10%
Food - 10%
Bills - 10%
Entertainment - 10%

The Balance of 30%

Savings - 10%
Tithing - 10%
Free Enterprise  10%

You should be able to take the Free Enterprise money and use this to your advantage to begin to increase your revenue.  We started out as a young Military family making about $1000 a month and rent was $450 so we didn’t have much to live on!  What we did was go to yard sales and offer to buy everything they had for a nominal price (only if it was good stuff), we liked children’s clothes and toys because we had a little one and knew the cost of these items.

Our first weekend we found a yard sale full of children’s clothes and toys, we offered her $20 for everything and she would not have the hassle of dealing with these people and she could take her family out to lunch.  Back in 1984 that would buy a family a nice lunch! That is probably equivalent to about $100 in today’s market.  She accepted our offer and we took the stuff to the Flea Market (Florida Swap Meet) the next day and that first Sunday we made $650 still with more stuff left over!  We were amazed to say the least!  We went to yard sales almost every Saturday and sold at the Flea Market usually every other Sunday and averaged an extra $300 to $400 a day.  This extra income or Free Enterprise System enabled us to almost double our income!  Yes it was work, but is also provided a better lifestyle overall! You can find something to do like this also.

With the extra money we saved enough money to buy businesses that were closing, we would buy their remaining inventory and resell it at the flea market also.  Buying in bulk like this provided a lot better profit margin than the yard sales.  This opens up other opportunities also, you could consider buying these business at a substantial discount, fixing them up, building them up and then selling them!  We also went to auctions, the best one was a “Toy Auction” in the beginning of November!  We had the greatest Christmas Booth in the whole Flea Market, not to mention our kids got some of the best toys!  Be open to the opportunity and the possibility and success will come to you!

Remember to save as much of this money as possible, preferably at least 50% and add this amount to your savings!  Then when a bigger business opportunity is available, you will be able to act on it because you are financially stable!

Once the time is right for you, there are many things you can do with the money in your savings, like buy a home, a small apartment building, etc.  Lets say after you have accumulated some money, you want to own your own home but also want an investment.  Buy a 4 unit building and rent the other 3 units to help support your mortgage payment!

If the average rent is $1000 per unit you will have a place to live and $3000 per month coming in when you retire and pay off the building!  Just think if you buy more than one building, lets say you own three buildings, 4 units each, each unit is rented at $1000 per month, you could live in one and still have $11,000 per month income!  Not a bad retirement plan because by the time you retire the rents will be much higher!

Always remember to live within your means, yes it would be nice to be driving a Bentley, but it is much smarter to own investments now and have the financial security for later!  If you invest properly and it is the Bentley you want it will be there for you!

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Purpose and Mindset

What is Purpose?
What is our Purpose in Life?
What is our Purpose of Today?
What is our Purpose of This Exact Minute?
Where is our Mindset during all of this?

Are we living our life with Purpose?  Each minute is critical to our future.  What we do this minute affects the rest of our lives!  The mindset we have carries us through and is our attraction, whether good or bad. 

What is Purpose?  It could be the value or the meaning of our actions.  It could be the “Why” of the end result, effect or advantage we choose to pursue or not pursue.  It could be defined as fulfilling a desire from within.  Another possibility is a determination of achievement.  Bottom-line, Purpose is what you make of it, you determine what your Purpose is based upon your perception or where you are at right now!

If you are a sales person and you are going to make a sales call, do you have a purpose?  Do you write down the points that you need to cover or your intention of the call?  Have you written out the intended results from making this call?  Is your mindset in a place of accomplishment of the intended results?  Have you visualized the intended results as if they have already materialized?  If not, Why not?  This will make you much more effective, efficient and make your closing ratios go through the roof!  This will work in any and all scenarios, personal, business, phone calls, meetings, dates, events, etc.

Everything we do in life has a purpose, usually it is self-fulfilling and is done sub-consciously.  If we just take an extra few seconds and make an extra effort to define the purpose of the action, we will get so much more accomplished in a lot less time!

With a defined Purpose our mindset is in a much better place.  You know where you are at, you know exactly where you are going, so your self confidence and self esteem is in a much better place which will in turn allow you to get much better results and overall make you feel better not only about life but yourself also!

Remember, if we are a magnet, what are we attracting by the thoughts that we think and that are dominating our minds?  Is our focus on the positive or the negative?  Because whatever it is … that is what we are attracting!

Lets attract the positive and live life to the fullest today and everyday!

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Family

In life we are given one set of Blood relatives whether we like them or not.  We always have to remember blood is thicker than water!  Now if you are like me that has very little family then you may have also formed other bonds that substitute or replace some or all of the blood family.

Irregardless, we are given specific things in our lives and the biggest thing that is over looked is the fact that the things in our lives that are free seem to be over looked the most!  Why is this?  The things that are free typically are of most value to us!  You can not put a price on a hug from a very special someone.  There is no definition of worth of having someone there for you in a time of need.  We need to be a little more thankful for what is around us and enjoy each day to the fullest!

The decisions we make with our friends and family will either strengthen or weaken our relationships.  I do not believe that we are ever staying in the same place in life, we are either moving forward or backwards.  The earth never stops moving and neither do we.  So in relationships we are either strengthening or weakening.  What are you doing?  Specifically, what are you doing to strengthen your relationships today?

Contribution is a Huge role in our relationships.  What do you contribute?  What is you contribution to: your family, spouse, friend, group, etc.  The flip side is what are the people around you contributing back to you?  They all have a contribution, whether good or bad through influence.  Who are you becoming based upon that influence and contribution?

Where are you headed in life and are the people around you helping you to get there?  Life is an amazing Journey, it throws a curve ball at us from time to time and that is why we always need to sit back and make sure that we are thinking clearly, learning from the lessons and most of all enjoying life to the fullest each and everyday!  The Navy SEALs have a motto: “The Only Easy Day Was Yesterday”  some days are easier than others, but there is always tomorrow and we have to be thankful for the opportunity that a new day brings!  Each and everyday that we are blessed to have on this earth brings with it the opportunity and possibility of Miracles if we are open to them!  With that …

May success be with you always,
Have a POWERFUL day!
Kevin Jones

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Decisions:
In life we are placed in multiple situations every single day to make decisions, each one of these decisions will send or enable us to be lead or are sent in a new direction.  Good or bad, the decision will change the course of our life.  We choose to be in a particular place at a particular time.  It is our choice to go sleep at a certain time and allow ourselves to have enough time to rest our body.   We make the decision to wake up at a specified time.  We decide whether or not to hit the snooze button or jump out of bed alive, well and full of energy!

What decisions are you making?  Are you thinking clearly? Are you the jump out of bed or hit the snooze button person?  Who do you think is the more empowered person?  My thought is that the person ready to attack the day is more ready to have a POWERFUL day than the one who drags out the opportunity of facing the day!

We make these decisions every minute of every day.  Are we making these decisions through emotions?  with our ego?  our pride?  or are you thinking clearly and making the decisions quickly and swiftly?  We all will make a few bad decisions, but it is always better to make a bad decision and learn from the lesson then to not make the decision and someone else ended up making it for us, then we loose all control!

The more you make decisions, the better you get at it!  When dealing with all areas of your life you will need to consider that your decisions will always have an effect on other things, whether it is financial, personal, physical, etc.  There will be a consequence, good or bad for each decision you make!

Consequences:
For each decision you make, there will be an equivalent consequence, good or bad.  You  may make a very strategic business move that makes you millions of dollars and that consequence is if good financially.  Now what you do with that money will be another consequence, good or bad.  You may make the decision to treat you spouse a particular way and that will definitely have consequences!  Same is true in everything in life!

You are where you are today because of the decisions you made yesterday!  Today you are living in yesterdays consequences!  Today’s consequences are a shear result of your previous influences. 

Influence:
The power of influence is HUGE!  Who you hang around is very powerful!  Because who you are influenced by is who you become!  Why is it most people end up very much like their parents when they get older?  Why do people that hang out together talk the same?  Dress the same?  Think the same?  To be around anyone for any length of time you need to be in rapport.  To stay in rapport you must be similar, you will need to be on the same page in your thought processes or you just won’t feel the magnetism to be around each other!

Magnetism is a very powerful topic in itself.  Ever heard of the Birds of a Feather Flock together?  It is the magnetism!  Your brain sends out signals that will bring you what you focus on!  So be careful what you focus on (or wish for) as you just might get it! 

The lesson here is make decisions quickly, learn from any lessons along the way and don’t maliciously hurt people on your journey because there is always a consequence, good, bad or in different and this universe always comes back full circle!  So get out there and make more decisions.  Always remember this, whatever decision you make is the right decision for you and whatever decision others are making is the best possible decision they can make in their given mindset! 

With that have a POWERFUL day!
Lets go enjoy life to the fullest!
Today is our day!

May success be with you always,
Kevin Jones

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Life and Career Management
Its All ABout You by Kevin Jones

This was given to me a long time ago and I am not aware of who the Author is but it is brilliant.

HABIT

I am your constant companion
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure
I am completely at your command
Half the things you do you might as well turn over to
And I will be able to do them quickly and correctly
I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me
Show me exactly how you want something done
And after a few lessons I will do it automatically
I am the servant of all great man
And, alas, of all failures as well
Those who are great, I have made great
Those who are failures, I have made failures
I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine
Plus the intellegence of a man
You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin
It makes no difference to me
Take me, train me, be firm with me
And I will put the world at your feet
Be easy with me, and I will destroy you

Who Am I?

I am Habit!

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Lets just say that you only had 365 days to live.
How would you live your life differently? 

Here are eight simple questions about what you might do differently in a couple areas of your life.  What would you do differently if you only had a year left to live?  Why would you look at life and these questions differently?

1.)  Would you work?  At what intensity?  Why?
2.)  What would you choose as your Career? Why this Career? 
3.)  What “Family Goal” would you achieve? Why this goal?
4.)  Is there a Realationship you would like to improve, heal or repair?
5.)  What “Contribution to Society” would you make? What would this mean to you?
6.)  Is there a “Financial Goal” you would like or must meet? Why?
7.)  A “Spiritual Goal” you would like to achieve? Purpose?
8.)  Any “Travel Goal” that you would like to fulfill? What will this do for you?

Life is too short not to live everyday like it is our last.  We should live our life with “Passion” we need to be “Thankful” for eveyday that we are blessed to wake and have the opportunity to “Experience” another day!  Most people are just getting through the day, you are going to go throught the motions today … why not soak up the experience, feel emotions, smell the smells, enjoy the activities, embrace life with everything it has to offer and be open to the possibility and opportunity, you never know where a great thing is going to come from.  Allow the experience, let people in and create your dream life today, right now … live in the moment and have fun with it!  Don’t wait until your days are numbered, make the change today and become a better YOU!  KEVIN JONES

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