Life and Career Management by Life Coach Kevin Jones
It’s All About YOU, written by Kevin Jones

BUILDING AND ESTABLISHING INTERNET RAPPORT:
How to Build it and How to Keep it !!!

Building and keeping internet rapport is something that the younger generation does automatically.  They do this because this is a way of life for them and it is in their daily habits of internet communication and texting .  You learn to have rapport or people don’t communicate with you!  The internet is just like real life, if you are out of rapport, you become repulsive and people want to leave.

In the internet world how do you build rapport?  You don’t have anytime to use your body language, check them out, make any assessments ahead of time or play into their accent.  Isnt it interesting that in a place like America, you can stay within the same country, speak the same language (well in most cases) but there are different accents, look at Boston, New York and Atlanta … all on the east coast and yet they have their own way of speaking, terminology, rate of speech and accent.  Then you go to the opposite extremes, like in the country lets say like Arkansas or Oklahoma and lastly California and it is completely different!  If you were to take one person from each area mentioned above and put them in a room, would it might be a bit uncomfortable?  Of course, some speak fast, other slow, some louder, all with different accents.

So how do you build Rapport on the internet?

Actually it really is the same as in person, but your communication is primarily in text.  So you will need to be more consciously aware of what is being said, how it is being communicated, and remember there is no tone in text unless it is being known LIKE YELLING!  So your first tip is: By using all caps you are yelling, so dont yell, unless it is absolutely necessary … and 99.9% it is not necessary!  No one likes it … easiest way to get out of rapport … Yell at them!!!

In rapport building with another person, we Mimic, Mirror and Match, either consciously or unconsciously.  It is a natural survival instinct and you will use it when you really want something even if you haven’t trained extensively or at all on this topic.  So in a nut shell to build rapport in person you would: Mimic: any accent  Mirror: duplicate body language  Match: rate and tone of speech.

Second thing is to clarify anything that is not clear so if you don’t understand or if you create your own little drama and insert your own emotion into the text, make sure this is what the other person has meant to communicate, best option, don’t read into any emotion in text … unless it is spelled out to you and the advanced users will tell you when to have emotion in their writing and you should learn to do so also!

Third, Mimic, it is hard to detect an accent, but some people do type as they speak, they will actually type as they sound or speak it to or from them.  I have had asian clients use “tree” insead of “three” for example, so every once in a while I will use “tree” instead of “three”, not everytime, but from time to time, it could be a simple mistake from their perception or they will feel compelled to you as you are on thier level.

Fourth, Mirror, we can not duplicate the body language in text, but wait, yes we can … there is “Body” in text … what is this persons writing style? all lower case, upper and lower case, punctuation (some dont use any), smilies :)  ;), do they just write on or do they actually make paragraghs, are they very vivid or short and to the point, these are just a few of the writing techniques you will need to pay attention to!

Fifth, Match, since we don’t have a voice to listen to, how do we match?  length of time in their response is one another big one is following their lead to the course of other contact.  It is a very fine line to who intiates the first contact outside the initial source, for example on an email, you meet someone from the internet or get a business lead.  On the business lead the prospect has contacted you via the internet, they chose this form of communication because it feels “Safe” to them.  You will need to keep them safe “If” you want to continue to communicate with them.

How do you keep them feeling safe?  If you are the vendor or salesperson or the one being contacted it is usually best to allow the person that contacted you to establish the first commincation outside of their comfort zone.  If you offer it before they are ready they immediately are uncomfortable and they disappear, keep them comfortable and engaged, they will stay if they are real and within a few back and forths or as soon as they are ready, they will suggest that one or the other contacts via a new method, phone, person, etc.

Why do you need to keep the person feeling safe? What is that purpose? Trust! This is a stranger and were we all taught not to talk to strangers!   It  can be scary for some people … respect this and them … you will get much better internet conversion rates.

so a recap, the key is to be aware of your surroundings and the people you are with for face to face rapport, same is true on the internet, what are your surroundings, where are you at? what site? what are you doing? what purpose? at what level are you communicating? what is your position in the conversation? what is the purpose of the conversation? How does this other person see you?

hopefully you have learned at least one thing from this short internet rapport building article it should allow you to get farther in your online relationships enough to build the conversation and comfort level so that you can achieve your desired outcome

Also if you were paying attention I shifted my writing style in the last two paragraphs, did you notice? Hopefully you did!  The last paragraph was all lower case with no punctuation and the previous paragraph, all lower case with punctuation … just the simple things you need to watch out for!

Good Luck, Happy Typing and May Success be with you in Internet Rapport Building!

Life And Career Management by Life Coach Kevin Jones
It’s All About YOU, written by Kevin Jones